I Heart Me by David Hamilton

Author:David Hamilton [Hamilton, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2015-02-12T23:00:00+00:00

Go Out and Connect as Yourself

My friend Margaret often tells the story of watching me and a group of my friends being presented with a peace flame for the work we were doing with the charity that we’d set up, Spirit Aid Foundation. She decided then that she had to meet me.

Seemingly by chance, we found ourselves partnered together a few months later on a meditation retreat in India, as the only two representatives from Scotland. We became instant friends.

One of the many things I’ve learned from Margaret is the power of interacting with people. Margaret talks to everyone. Everyone! And it doesn’t matter if they don’t speak the same language – she’ll find some way of communicating.

After that trip, we ran several workshops together. Margaret had trained as a laughter therapist with a man who came to be her friend, Dr Patch Adams, of the movie of the same name, whose character was played by the late Robin Williams. So we’d travel to events together and she would dress as a clown for the whole trip. She attracted some looks, I can tell you.

One time we were doing a workshop for a large insurance company. We entered the lift to go to the directors’ floor. It was occupied by two men in grey suits. They both immediately stared at the floor, clearly uncomfortable, probably due to the fact that Margaret was dressed in clown attire.

I became uncomfortable too, when Margaret began interacting with them. They clearly didn’t want to interact at all. The lift floor was much more interesting to them. Margaret was pushing them right out of their comfort zones.

‘What’s so nice about the floor?’ she asked. ‘Why don’t people talk to each other in lifts? Let’s talk. Tell me about yourselves.’ She spoke in a playful yet kind way. I felt quite embarrassed, though. Her words were as much for me as they were for the grey men.

But by the time we reached our floor, the men had completely loosened up. One of them was actually loosening his tie as he stepped out, his face flushed. They were both smiling as they left the lift. Job done, as far as Margaret was concerned. I could tell they’d enjoyed the trip in the lift. It had been unexpected, but, damn, it had been a breath of fresh air.

It had been a lesson for me too. If it hadn’t been for Margaret, I would have gone up those 30 or so floors also staring at the ground. And why? I would have been self-conscious! Embarrassed! Worried I wouldn’t know what to say. Thinking people wouldn’t want to interact. Assuming people would want me to mind my own business. Feeling vulnerable. Feeling I’d run out of conversation. Feeling shame. I could go on. Do you recognize any of those feelings?

Even though opportunities to connect continually present themselves to us, we hold back, thinking that if we are our authentic selves we won’t be accepted. Yet connection is what we all biologically crave.

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